I almost died in those caves. I think the magnitude of that has only now set in. I haven’t been able to sleep for more than a few hours since it happened. I acted like it didn’t bother me, but every time I fall asleep I see Guur and Azelandrik staring at me just before they’re ripped apart by those creatures and drug under the water. I can’t help but think I could have done something to save them. I just stood there and watched, too worried about myself to take action.
And then there’s the children.
My first reaction was to kill them all and I would have if it hadn’t been for the others. I’m glad we didn’t. I see myself in each of them now. I was just like them once. I need to help give them a chance.
The guilt of the deaths and what could have become of the children at my hands is crushing. I need to give back, to be a better person, to help someone other than myself.
If it hadn’t been for that cleric, I’d be dead now. Not to mention everyone else; they rushed in and helped me with no regard for themselves. It was stupid, but I’m glad they did it. I think I might just be able to trust these people.
Well, time for another half hour of sleep…